As the world’s greatest athletes, Olympians and Paralympians are often put on a pedestal. It’s hard for most people to remember that we are human. We experience the same emotions and struggles – ups and downs – as the other seven billion people on the planet. In fact there are some that we experience more deeply. That’s what “The Weight of Gold” helped illuminate.

“The Weight of Gold” is a documentary that aired on HBO – and is available on HBO Max – earlier this summer after three years of work by director and co-executive producer Brett Rapkin and a team that includes Michael Phelps. It shines a light on the mental health challenges faced by elite athletes. If you haven’t seen it yet, I urge you to take one hour out of your day to watch as a dozen of us share our stories – including Jeremy Bloom, Sasha Cohen, Bode Miller and Shaun White.

It goes “behind the curtain” as we get a firsthand look into the minds of some of the greatest athletes on planet Earth as they reveal the insecurities, doubt, fear and mental struggle associated with the path to Olympic podiums.

I first heard about the project when Katie Uhlaender posted about it on social media last year, and immediately knew I wanted to be involved. I spoke to Katie, Sasha Cohen and Jeremy Bloom before getting in touch with Brett and offering to lend my voice and my story to help promote this topic. Having experienced my own challenges with loss of identity and a passion to reinvent, this was something I knew adamantly needed the world’s attention.

My goal with the film was to express my gratitude for the fact that I had the opportunity to pursue my own Olympic dream – I chose my path and am happy about the path that I took – but I also wanted to explain the hardships that come with that path. It wasn’t easy. Were there some very challenging and dark times? Absolutely. Were there times when I didn’t have the resources in my sport? Yes, absolutely. This was a time and era where I don’t think anyone truly understood that athletes are more than machines, that they’re humans like everyone else. They have these emotional states and these situations in their lives where often we are only given praise when we win. So when we don’t, that has a negative tailwind associated. The strengths and weaknesses in all of our life experiences are often in our own minds – the place that we dare not to look, highlight or even talk about. That stigma is changing daily and the constant pressure to be transparent, open and vulnerable is a collective struggle that we are all overcoming.

I just wanted the people of this country to see the athlete as a whole, as a human, as someone who has so many facets and complexities associated. The path to gold is never easy and everyone has their own demons, and it doesn’t matter how much money you have, how many medals you have won, how successful you may seem to be. Those demons don’t have to be faced completely alone and the resources and tools to navigate these dark mental challenges are starting to become more accessible.

“The Weight of Gold” to me is a platter given to the world to say: We represent our country and what you should know is what goes on behind the curtain. All you see is when we are finished, at the polished stage, when the diamond is beautiful and it’s shining in the sunlight under all those beautiful NBC lights. You don’t always understand all the time and blood and sweat that went into curating that diamond.

The response has been phenomenal. Every single day I get some type of a message – either through social media or email or a text from a friend – either thanking me for using my voice to talk about mental health or from an athlete telling me they have felt every emotion and struggle shown in that film. It was surprising for me to hear that. But it was also wonderful to hear that they’re in a better place because they now know other athletes have also felt those same things.

As someone who primarily was driven by a fear of failure and that nothing was ever good enough, it was comforting to know that many of my peers also faced the same internal battles as I had. The severity of these mental challenges can be fatal and as we saw from the film, we have lost too many incredible humans to those demons that attack the brain.

I think there is so much more to be done in this space. The documentary could have been a six-part series! And maybe we’ll see that one day. After seeing “The Weight of Gold,” I hope the IOC and the USOPC say, hey, these athletes are our family, they are a part of the Olympic movement. When they are competing at their highest and when they retire, they are still a part of the Olympic family and we have some level of responsibility tied to them – and vice versa, of course. I want every sponsor who looks at this to say, wow, I am ok with some of our sponsor dollars going towards the resources that are related to the health and wellness of athletes when they are competing and even after they’ve retired.

There needs to be solidarity from the athletes to come together because our voices could be much more powerful when we’re unified and centralized. Then we can enact real change.

Most importantly, this conversation needs to stay top of mind long after the documentary. There needs to be real discussions that move the needle and right now the sick part of this is no one’s talking about it. They’ve already forgotten. That’s the danger of the world we live in – people’s attention spans are so short that they forget so quickly. We don’t want that. We can’t afford to lose momentum.

If you or someone you know is experiencing an urgent mental health issue, you can text HOME to 741741 or call (800) 273-8255 to speak to a trained mental health responder. I wish you the best on your journey to a life filled with less pain and agony and one filled with happiness, strength and fulfillment.

Sending love to all,

Apolo